Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
