I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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