im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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