I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
