then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
