Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Randomize
