We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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