Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
