Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
