i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
