Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we made out on top of his cat.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize