Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
