just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
