so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
