I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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