you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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