I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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