You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
