Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
