Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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