writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
