all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
