I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
