i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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