btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize