i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
