What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
