Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize