Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
