Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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