it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
