Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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