She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
