her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
