Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
