Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
