But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
