eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
