i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
