her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize