It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
