Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize