She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
