Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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