Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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