I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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