Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
is wine microwaveable?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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