PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't turn off my feet"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
