operation harelip BJ is a go
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
