You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
