Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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