Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
