Umm I'm too high to move.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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