I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
