Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just puked most of my soul out..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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