remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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