Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize