I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
