are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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