went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize