Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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