Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
