I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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