Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
