Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
