You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
